My Story
So since I can remember, I was always super shy and always nervous. I would always start crying when there was loud noises, lots of people, somebody dressed up and I couldn’t see their face etc. We always just thought I was shy and nervous. I remember the one time I was on vacation with my family when I was about 10 and I thought I was dying. I was scared, I wasn’t at home, so young and I didn’t know what was happening. I couldn’t breathe, and I was balling my eyes out. Nobody knew what was wrong with me. About 2 hours later, I finally calmed down. That was the longest panic attack I ever had. When I was about 12 years old, I was always so afraid of commiting suicide. The suicide thoughts went on and on. It was a fear that I was going to lose control and kill myself. In May 2010, my cousin commited suicide. It shot my whole world down. I wish she was still here today and I miss her a lot. Nothing that tragic had ever happened to me. It was scary. Everytime I looked at a rope, knife or medication I thought of suicide and killing myself. Picturing everything in my head. Time went on and the thoughts got worse so I told my friend in the summer and it felt good knowing that somebody knew. It didn’t make the thoughts go away though. In November, I found out that Demi Lovato, my idol, went in to a treatment center for an eating disorder and cutting. I was shocked. I could not believe it. That’s what made me want to tell my parents about my thoughts. I still wasn’t sure if I should because I didn’t want to worry them. I told one of my friends I had just met online knowing she has been through similar stuff. She told me to tell my mom. Then a couple days later, I was in class and I felt like I was suffocating and I was just going to stop breathing. I went outside and it went away. I went home to my mom and said “I think I’m crazy.” I explained to her what happened in class. My mom booked me an appointment with my doctor to see if I had anxiety. On my way to the doctors, I told my mom about my thoughts. Then, I told the doctor about everything, he diagnosed me with anxiety. No depression, thank goodness. I started on medication, but I got really bad suicidal thoughts and was so close to actually attempting suicide, so they took me off of it and I started seeing a social worker. It felt good to talk about things with my social worker. In late March, I found out my God-Parents who I was pretty close with got murdered by my God-Brother. I was scared, expecially for my parents. They were best friends with my God Parents. Never will I forget the feeling of my stomach dropping when I heard that story. I still sometimes picture the way he killed them in my mind and it makes me sick to my stomache. After this, my anxiety got worse, worrying that my parents were going to die, or that I was gonna lose control and hurt somebody else. The thoughts controlled my life. I literally got to the point where I was so anxious and self conscious that I didn’t want to do anything or go anywhere. I was still going to my social worker but it wasn’t really making my anxiety any better. I recently started on medication and now, I am happy, anxiety free and loving life. I just wanted to share this story with you guys so you know there is light at the end of the tunnel. I know life sucks a lot at times but it gets better. Please just believe me. I love you guys with everything in me and I wouldn’t want any of you guys to ever give up or do anything to hurt youselves. I care and I am here to listen. ♥ Stay strong.
-Cassie (@NobodyIsAlone, @CassieLogesYou)
When a song you haven’t heard in forever comes on.
It’s like…wait this sounds familar
Then you hear that one verse that makes you remember the song
Then you are like
YES. FUCK YES
Are you too afraid to even talk to us on Twitter? It took us a long time to find these so please, if a link isn’t working; tell us. If so here are some phone numbers and websites you can visit.
For Suicide:
Pick your state here and get a local toll free number : …
